Why I Hate Hoolahoops
by Shankie
Summary: Mihawk had a big problem with hoolahoops, and he had no other choice but to consult Shanks for it. Rated T for slight swearing. No pairings. NO YAOI. Muahahhahahaha! Two Shot People!
1. The Marines' Christmas Party!

**A/N: **I thought of this fic awhile ago when they told me that we were going to have a Hoolahoop contest. I ran to my evil cousin to teach me how to use the Hoolahoop and stuff like that.

Sorry for writing crap. TT_TT

* * *

"Uh... excuse me... what?" Shanks found himself dumbfounded. One day he was happily drinking beer then suddenly someone comes to him with a wild intention.

"Teach me how to use the Hoolahoop." The greatest swordsman, no other than the man named Dracule Mihawk, would go down to a man and ask him to teach him how to use a hoolahoop.

"Okay, I'll do you a favor of slapping you to get you back in to your senses." Shanks raised his arm ready to hit the man's cheek as hard as he could.

"Look, I'm in big trouble here. You're the only one, let me repeat, **the only fucking one, **who should know that I'm asking you to teach me this crap. There are going to be games at the marines' Christmas party this coming... well Christmas of course." Mihawk sighed.

Shanks was about to open his mouth but Mihawk glared at him.

"Don't ask why I didn't refuse. I'm answering already. It's because of that stupid Garp. He blackmailed me."

Shanks was about to speak again, but knowing that Mihawk is Mihawk, he cut him again.

"Don't you dare ask what blackmail material he used to make me come to that freaking Christmas party." Mihawk sat down on one of the chairs opposite to Shanks before groaning and dropping his head down in defeat.

"I have to thank the annoying snake-woman for this. She told me the games that would take place since she was one of the hosts." Mihawk then slowly crept his hands up his hair. "She told me that there would be egg-catching and other stuffs... but the thing I couldn't take was... THE HOOLAHOOP CONTEST! If they find out that me of all the people can't use the hoolahoop then my reputation and pride would be destroyed!" Mihawk pulled his hair out as far as he could.

Shanks blinked at him. Then he looked up the sky just to check if the world was already ending. "You do know that you can spin the hoolahoop around your arm right?" Shanks asked.

Mihawk was silent for a few seconds. The man turned his head away from Shanks's eyes. "I know."

Shanks really didn't understand what the man meant. Then suddenly, realization struck him hard. "You mean you can't spin it around you-"

"YES! YES! I DON'T! DON'T RUB IT ON MY FACE!" Mihawk bawled on to Shanks while banging his fist on the table.

Shanks planned on teasing the poor hawk when he got here and asked him how to use a hoolahoop. But seeing the man be in so much tribulation made Shanks feel very crummy for him. With a new notion on Mihawk, Shanks tapped the raven's shoulder.

"Sorry about that shit earlier." Shanks grinned, "I'll help you my friend!"

* * *

Mihawk put the ring around his arm and breathed heavily. His arm went tense and he tried to move it in a circular motion. Some kind of magic happened and the hoolahoop rotated out of his arm.

"Okay... I don't think I know how to deal with your problem." Shanks droned softly. Mihawk grabbed him by the collar and sent him a glare saying _Help-me-or-I-will-skin-you-alive_.

Shanks let out a sigh. "Look, it's because your muscled arm keeps getting tense whenever you're about to twirl the ring around it." Shanks then patted Mihawk's arm, "You have to relax whenever you spin the hoolahoop around your arm."

Shanks picked up the ring on the floor and put it around his arm. He slowly spun his arm in a circular motion, and so did the hoolahoop.

"See? It'll be easy if you relax!" Shanks laughed, then he rolled the ring to Mihawk. "Now give it a try!"

That was a useless demonstration dear Shanks. Why? Because the hoolahoop went flying again. "Okay, forget what I said." Shanks picked up his bag and started walking back home.

"WAH! NO! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" Mihawk ran and blocked Shanks's pathway. Then Shanks caught sight of Mihawk's waist.

"Wait, may I ask why you don't know how to spin the hoolahoop around your waist?" Shanks tilted his head.

"Well... it's because I never really used to twirl my hips and stuff..." Mihawks answered innocently.

"Mihawk."

"What?"

"I think you'll do better on Waist-Hoolahoop-ing."

* * *

A few weeks later, Shanks read a little something on the newspaper.

'Winner of the hoolahoop contest, Dracule Mihawk. Was able to spin the hoolahoop around his waist for an hour.'

Shanks sniffed and wiped a bit of the tears the formed in his eyes. "I'm so proud of you Mihawk."


	2. An after story!

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, just came up with this recently and stuff like that, but then again, I love these two guys! XD**

**So on second thought, not one shot. :3 It's a two shot~! XD**

* * *

Remember the time when Mihawk asked Shanks if he could teach him how to use the hoolahoop? Well, of course, it's still fresh in Mihawk's brain. Oh how we wished to just crumple that memory and throw it in the trash can and burn it together with the other memories he would love to trash.

Right now, Mihawk is in a very suspicious island. Then again, he always goes to suspicious islands, why? Just for the heck of it.

It's just that for some reason, the sea on the shore is too calm to be a sea. It's like a lake pretending to be a sea. No waves, no movement, no anything. But then again, Mihawk thinks it's normal. Why? Because he's in the grandline.

But then suddenly, Mihawk was covered by a great shadow, a really,really, humongous shadow. Curious, Mihawk turned around and looked back at the shadow, and there his eyes grew as big as Luffy's. There was a gigantic wave, about as big as Dory+Brogy. Mihawk tried to run away, but then as he took a step forward, the great mass of water landed on him with great force and pulled him away from the land, all the way to the sea. Mihawk tried to struggle but the force of the wave was too great, so great that he hit his head on a rock and apparently, fainted.

* * *

Mihawk awoke inside a bar, and this wasn't just any bar, it was the same bar where he asked Shanks to teach him how to spin that ring around his waist. Right now, Mihawk just wanted to disappear to somewhere where he could disintegrate.

The door then burst open and Mihawk snapped to it, revealing a very sweaty red-haired grown man. "Mihawk! I found you!" Shanks brightened up and ran to him, panting on his knees. Curious to as what was going on, Mihawk decided to ask. "So... what do you need?"

Shanks looked hesitant for a moment, but then he shrugged it off and decided to tell him.

"Please tell me how to use the hoolahoop!"

_"Please tell me how to use the hoolahoop!"_

**_"Please tell me how to use the hoolahoop!"_**

Mihawk's brain repeated that line for more than 5 times, and his eyes bulged out, literally. He almost dropped the cup on his ha- 'Wait a second.', Mihawk thought, 'How'd I even get a cup in my hand?'

Then he blinked.

'Hey... wasn't I swallowed by that gigantic wave!? Why am I in a bar!? And more importantly, WHY IS THE PERSON WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO USE THE HOOLAHOOP ASKING ME TO TEACH HIM HOW TO USE THE HOOLAHOOP!?'

Mihawk was fighting a very, very, very dangerous psychological war. 'Could it be...' Mihawk scrunched his eyebrows together and snapped to the waitress and asked "Say miss, where am I?"

The waitress then giggled and laughed at Mihawk, "Where else could you be but in the great line?"

Mihawk felt bubbling in his stomach. 'Okay fine, maybe grand line sounds corny but seriously, Great Line!? That's just ridiculous!' Mihawk then shook his head, 'So I ended up in an alternate universe huh... This is definitely dangerous...'

"Mihawk? You gonna teach me?" Shanks asked once more, and Mihawk remembered that he was talking to this man. Mihawk took so long on thinking that all the sweat on Shanks's body had already dried up.

"... Why would I do that?" Mihawk asked, although he does owe this man, he doesn't owe him in this world, not at all.

"As silly as this sounds... you're still the only one, the FREAKING ONLY ONE who I can consult in teaching me how to use the hoolahoop without destroying my reputation!" Shanks answered, with a panicking face.

Mihawk froze. 'Wait... is it me or he answered the same way I answered him in the other world only in a nicer way?'

Just when Mihawk was about to bring out another 'Why?' question, Shanks cut him off, "You see, I was invited to a party cruise in Whitebeard's ship, so of course, knowing that I'm a party animal, I would go." Shanks sat down beside Mihawk and ran a hand down his hair, "But then I saw Lucky using the hoolahoop and I asked him why, then he told me that there was going to be a hoolahoop contest! But I don't know how to use the hoolahoop! And I don't want to be embarassed! What am I going to tell to Luffy then!?"

Mihawk froze and somehow, twitched in annoyance. 'Is it me or his reasoning is almost the same with mine only that it's more... innocent?'

Mihawk thought for a while then he sighed and looked at Shanks. "You do know that you can spin the hoolahoop around your arm right?"

'Okay, now I'm just repeating what he told me.' Mihawk thought as he shiver ran down his spine.

"...I know..."

Mihawk froze once again and stared at Shanks with his left eye twitching, 'Why is this scene happening again!? In front of my very eyes!?' Mihawk thought as his eyes widened even more. "You mean you can't spin the hoolaho-"

"I know! I know! Don't repeat it anymore! Don't rub it in my face you meanie!" Shanks whined like a five year old kid, while Mihawk froze like he saw Garp wearing a ballerina suit and Sengoku hugging him like he was proud of Garp.

'Everything I said is being restated in a kinder way!' Mihawk thought in amazement but at some point, he was completely annoyed as well.

"But-" Mihawk stopped speaking immediately when Shanks stared at him intensely, as if saying that 'If you don't teach me, you will regret it in the near future.'

"... I'll teach you." Mihawk sighed, and turned to look at Shanks once again. Shanks brightened up and smiled at Mihawk, "Alright!"

* * *

"All you have to do is spin it around like this."

Mihawk then started spinning the hoolahoop around his waist while Shanks watched every single move and sweat that fell off of Mihawks b- No that's just creepy- Shanks watched every single move and twist Mihawk did.

"Ah! I get it!" Shanks placed his clenched fist on top of his opened palm.

Mihawk froze once again and stared at Shanks like he just found One Piece, "You do?"

"Yep!" Shanks stood up from his chair and picked up the hoolahoop that fell on the ground. "Just like this right?" Shanks then spun the hoolahoop around his waist in a different way, yet in a very graceful way. It's as if he was one with the hoolahoop.

Mihawk felt his left eye twitch.

'He... learned it faster than I did.'

* * *

Mihawk then read the newspaper a day later, and there on the headlines was something that caught his attention. "**Shanks Li Roux, won the Whitebeard Party Cruise contest because of being able to spin the hoolahoop around his waist for 2 hours.**"

Mihawk couldn't take it anymore, it was so weird! Why does Shanks always have to be better than him in doing pathetic things! It's supposed to be so pathetic that Mihawk would be best at it!

Suddenly, a large hole from below him widened, and there he fell and screamed as he was surrounded by darkness.

A few seconds later, he heard a voice calling on to him.

"...k... Mihawk... MIHAWK!"

Mihawk snapped his eyes open, only to find Shanks staring at him worriedly. Mihawk then sat up and looked around, and found that he was in the same spot before he was hit by that gigantic wave, but... what was Shanks doing in there?

"Good thing I found you immediately! Because if I didn't wake you up and you did something wrong in the alternate universe, you'll never wake up again and die!" Shanks said, laughing wholeheartedly.

Mihawk then stared at Shanks then furrowed his eyebrows, "Wait. What?"

"Well, this island is the island of Karma! So that when you go to this place, you will be sent to an alternate universe and you'll have to help the person whom you did so many bad things to! However, if you don't help that person, you die~!" Shanks laughed once again and began patting Mihawk's back, which seemed like several smacks.

"Well, you are you! So I doubt that you wouldn't help that person!" Shanks smiled brightly at Mihawk.

Mihawk felt like smacking Shanks's head hard but then realization struck him. There was a point in that universe where 'Alternate Shanks' was staring at him like 'If you don't help me, you'll regret it in the near future.'

...

Mihawk suddenly felt so scared of Shanks and inched.. no... metered away from Shanks with horrified eyes. Shanks stared at him confusedly and tilted his head to the side. "Hey? Come on! It's not like I'd kill you!" Shanks laughed.

Mihawk's eye twitched and continued backing away from Shanks.

'YOU FOOL! I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!'


End file.
